All of the junk, all of the yuck, never makes sense until the light breaks forth and you see the clear blue sky. All of the storms, the lonely sleepless nights, the heartaches, the struggles, they are only painful until your life begins to change. Then you realize that we can't feel bliss unless we have felt pain, we cannot see the rainbow unless we wait out the rain.
I have always searched for someone to make every thing right. I always though it was "him" that would make me complete, turn the corner, shield me from the downpour. But it was in my hands all along. I became who I needed to be. I have learned to appreciate myself, love myself, make my own life without considering how it affects others. Then someone came along and threatened that process., big time. I ran away scared because I didn't even think I could have both; my life, my plans and him. So I tossed him by the wayside, only to later realize I almost made a monumental mistake.
"You are the dream, the wish I never knew I had."
Luckily, I figured out just in the nick of time that I no longer have to change for ANYONE. I continue to have my life, my plans, joys, hobbies, friends and I also have the love of a kind-hearted, genuine man. Because for once in my life, he didn't ask me to change, to be something, someone I wasn't. I never had to put on a show to catch his eye. I never had to be more than exactly who I was, and that's exactly the girl that captured his attention.
People have told me that when you know someone is right for you, you just know. It's not dramatic or accompanied by a swelling orchestral movement, its just happens. One day you're just fine and dandy and then the next day you fall hard, for someone you never even saw coming, someone so perfect you never even knew he was what you wanted. Someone who not only breaks down the walls, but shatters them, and you are helpless to stop him. So you let go, and you hope like you've never hoped before.
There honestly isn't a better way to live, friends. Yeah it's scary as hell, but what kind of life do you really want to live? One that's dictated by others opinions, defined by always holding back and never saying what your heart feels...or one that's lived with abandon, one that is defined by courage, vulnerability, taking chances, trusting others and meeting, falling in love with and cherishing the most amazing people you've ever met... It's really up to you, but please, choose the latter. Yeah, the heartaches hurt, but the joy is unbeatable. The excited feeling you get everyday to be living YOUR life with YOUR friends YOUR love YOUR family YOUR community, that's what makes it all worth it.
On a less philosophical note...
I'm training to run a half marathon.
My dog is still the cutest thing alive.
I'm currently craving a super greasy cheeseburger.
I am BLISSFULLY happy.
