There are infinite amounts of wisdom hidden in others decisions. It's amazing how we can discover the things that really do and don't matter to us by watching the examples of other people. You can learn from their mistakes, their triumphs and by the ways they prioritize their lives.
People matter. Their feelings matter, their hearts matter. When we get hurt by those we trust it is far more painful than when a stranger does us wrong, or when some unexpected turn of events throws us under the bus. Because when those we trust hurt us, it wounds us in a bigger way. It makes us feel stupid for allowing them to have such influence in the first place, for setting them up to let us down.
But the solution isn't in shutting them out either, the solution is to learn from their mistakes. We can blame those who hurt us for the rest of our lives, hold a grudge and just be sour about it all. OR we can do something no one expects us to do, we can transform our behavior so that we won't ever hurt others or let others down the way they let us down. We can promise to forgive, to let go and to love anyways.
Love is the most powerful weapon we have. Love can take even the most hardened of curmudgeons and turn them into a soppy wet bawling mess, but only if we love without relenting. Don't love to get noticed, to love to get back, love because it's the only thing we have left when we've run out of options. We need to remind ourselves that moments, days, years are here and gone in flash and the only thing that we can carry with us in this life is the relationships, the love we have built around us.
We must also be cautious to not take for granted those few who return our love unconditionally. When someone loves you, really truly adores try not to question it. Don't ask why, just accept that someone so great has chosen to make you a priority in their life. We also have to learn to properly be loved in order for love to come full circle. If someone trusts you with their heart, you need to trust them as well. They've given you the opportunity to be allowed into their lives and you must repay them by doing the same. You must communicate, open your mind, heart and soul, tell them your dreams, your fears, your hopes and they'll tell you theirs.
If you don't feel needed by someone, chances are they don't need you. I know that sounds awfully blunt and cynical but in most cases its true. People who need you will let you know it. Don't take their asking for favors and advice and help and support as a sign of their own weakness, take is an honor that they've allowed you to know they can't do those things without you. You are the person they wanted to talk to or to keep them company while they were hurting or celebrating. You were needed by them because they love you and care about the impact you have on their life.
When we stop feeling needed, it's hard to want to give unconditionally any more. We begin to feel taken advantage of, cheated out of the loving two way street of any relationship. You see love, whether romantic or platonic is absolutely a two way street. If someone has stopped meeting you there, you should try with all of your might to meet them all the way, but after awhile you need to realize what's best for you. When you've been going all the way the whole time, maybe it's time to ease off and realize that you deserve something, someone, whether it be a friend or a lover, but someone better to look after YOU.
